Open Handed

I'm so grateful that I had a wise Christian women teach this Christina discipline to me a few years ago! I truly wouldn't have such an anthem to sing, that Laura Story has put into words, without that life touching life impact of discipleship. It's still my heart. It's still my prayer. Some days are just tougher to live open handed than others. But, living this way is the reason most things don't shake and brake me when trials come. I've had so many heartbreaks in my life, some people still wonder how I breathe and function. Ahhh, but this. The grace of God is my glue. Living in open handed and realizing that my breathe is a gift, my opportunities are a blessing - it puts it all into perspective. All of "this" was never really mine to begin with, God just entrusted me to be a steward of it. It's His blessings to me. I've surely not gotten it right. I'm certainly not perfect! But, every day, I rise to take on the challenges and opportunities of the day that He has given me and face each of them with my palms up saying just this:

"Take it all - every hope, every dream, every plan.

Take it all - every weight, all the shame and brokenness. 

Jesus, I surrender all - every victory and loss

Take it all, take it all 'till all I have is open hands."

May my heart never cease to live this way. 

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"Open Hands"

by Laura Story (feat. Mac Powell)

The sweetest sound, the highest praise,

Is the letting go of this life You gave.

Our greatest prayer, an act of faith,

Is an open hand; Lord have Your way. 

Take it all - every hope, every dream, every plan.

Take it all - every weight, all the shame and brokenness. 

Jesus, I surrender all - every victory and loss

Take it all, take it all 'till all I have is open hands.

A clenching fist, a life of fear,

A burden held, has no place here

Cause You call me now to cast it all

On the shoulders of the one who's strong.

Take it all - every hope, every dream, every plan.

Take it all - every weight, all the shame and brokenness. 

Jesus, I surrender all - every victory and loss

Take it all, take it all 'till all I have is open hands.

All I have is open hands

I'm not afraid of what I lose; my greatest joy is finding You

Take it all, take it all

Take it all - every hope, every dream, every plan.

Take it all - every weight, all the shame and brokenness. 

Jesus, I surrender all - every victory and loss

Take it all, take it all 'till all I have is open hands.

All I have is open hands. I surrender.

All I have is open hands.

Lessons in Love

Love. It's an overused term in our society. I wonder if people even understand its definition and application the way we throw that word around. I've been very guarded with the use and expression of this word when it comes to friends, romantic interest and even my family members. I don't use this word lightly to describe my heart towards those relationships! I feel this week has been a great time of deep processing of one particular life lesson I learned three years ago. It stems from this amazing four little word: love.

Have you ever met someone who rocks your world? I don't mean that in an upsetting or negative way. But when you meet them, their presence impacts you so much that you lose the art of a routine day? You find yourself randomly thinking about them as days go by? Praying for them at random times throughout the day? Wanting to give them another hug? To make the world better for them? To be a light in their darkness? 

That is how my week has been. I see those eyes and smile and they flash through my mind like it is a dream. I hear that laugh in the background and see that ear to ear grin just as if I was standing in their presence again. I see all of this go through my heart – my mind – and all I can do is simply pray! If anyone knows me, they know I'm not the crying type. I was taught at a young age to hold in my emotions and it's been a long process to undo this dangerous learned art. To have someone rock my heart in such a way that thoughts like these cause me to cry – to weep – I know God has a purpose, I just honestly don't know what that is right now. They say people come into your lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I don't know which this encounter was for, but I wait - and I pray! This is love. 

You can't cling tightly to them, for I have learned this pushes people away. Rather, I must hold them loosely, with my palms open and say "God, they're yours. Protect them. Love them. Show them Yourself." This is where genuine trust in the Lord is demonstrated. This is true love. How is it that one moment, one encounter, can change your life? Change how you see people? This was actually a life lesson learned in Bangkok Thailand that God has been perfecting in me for three years. It is His grace poured out on my life to learn this lesson and put it into action in my life. To love people the way He has called me to. I'm forever grateful and ever praying for that one soul who rocked my world Monday night. To you my dear, you are truly, deeply and genuinely loved!

Stairway to Hope

Down a long street, in the Red Light District, bars line the road.

Vendors fill the street and make a market for night time shopping. 

Vendors give their best pitch to sell you the latest knock off item available out there. 

This is how they make their money.

From the evening hours into the wee hours of morning, the door fronts of these bars are flooded with girls and Touts, wooing you inside. This is how they make their money.

Many people crowd into these streets. 

Some in search for a good deal in the market shops. 

Others are in search for a good drink or something to fill a void in their life.

Many of the bars have a stairway next to their main entrance; these stairs lead to another level, something more seductive and sensual. In search of filling a void, many people take the ultimate stairway to hell here. A stairway that leads to destruction of their heart and soul. 

And those that woo them in, this is how they make their money.

 

At the end of the first street, there is a stairway on the right side. 

At the end of the open doorway, the stairway leads up.

80 stairs

Each step seems dark. 

The walls are grey cement – dingy. 

There is a heaviness that overcomes you as you take each step. 

There is dust and an open electric box 10 stairs into the climb. 

Each floor seems empty; empty of life and light.

 

When you take the 80^th step, you sense something different.

There is light. 

There is life. 

There is hope.

You hear music and singing in the background.

There is a doorway to the left, and one to the right.

The door on the left is bright, like a ray of sunshine in the midst of a raging storm of darkness. 

A storm you cannot see, but you can feel. 

It is a storm not of the flesh, but one against the powers of darkness.

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The mission and vision of Rahab Ministries Thailand is “to share the love of Jesus Christ though Friendship Evangelism and Social Concern. To provide practical help and emotional support to women working in prostitution. To provide opportunities for education, vocational training and alternative employment.” 

This is done through relational bar visitation with women. If a woman makes the choice to work with Rahab, they offer additional training, discipleship and housing accommodations.

When our team was told about Rahab ministries, it sounded pretty great from a “missions” mindset. They offer help to women who want to get out of the bar life and making money. We were told we’d have a chance to make jewelry with the women. It sounded fun but I doubted my patience level to sit and bead a necklace:)

I had no idea this ministry would impact me as much as it did.

I actually LOVED making jewelry with the women. It was the most relaxing thing I have done all year!!

The heart of this ministry, and these ladies, exude a love and passion for Jesus like I have never seen in all my “American” life. When we returned on our last day to say “see you later”, my heart ached. I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want this ‘dream’ of seeing the true love of Jesus in flesh to end! It almost felt magical from the standpoint that it was so real and authentic – legit. 

These women loved Jesus to their CORE. 

I didn’t want to go.

We all gathered in a circle for prayer. Connie prayed and it was like an angel speaking. I just love that women and how much she loves Jesus. She said amen and the ladies all pushed us into the circle to pray over us. I expected one woman to pray over our team. 

I was astounded by what happened next.

In a beautiful language that I did not know, Thai, many voices lifted up words to our Father in Heaven. To hear many women pray, in a tongue I knew not, was the most beautiful thing on all this earth. You could sense the presence of Him in the room like no other. Tears flowed down my cheeks – to the ground beneath me. The woman on my right squeezed my hand tightly as I sniffled back tears. The Lord Jesus was in this place and these women! 

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The door read, “Rahab Ministries”.

You open this door and joy and laughter fill the room. 

They are hard working women who smile as they bead, sew and craft.

This is how they make their money.

These women were once bar women. 

Ladies who sold themselves to make their money. 

Ladies who have now found the love and redemption of Christ 

because of the stairway that leads to hope.